


The Words You Said

by Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Category: Primeval
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Hair, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 00:07:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allowing oneself to love is not without pitfalls, but Becker discovers that opening up isn't as bad as he's feared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fififolle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fififolle/gifts).



"What the hell did you think you were doing?"

For three men in the infirmary - one with multiple fractures - I deserved every bit of the dressing down, I told myself as I stood in Captain Ryan's office. I didn't, couldn't answer him. Whatever reasons I'd had to make the decision that had taken three of my team out of commission they weren't important now. My mission, my job to keep the team safe was a failure.

My body ached, bruised and battered from dealing with the herd of Kannemeyeria - from having to extract my men from underneath the fallen body of a rampaging bull before dragging the stunned beast back through the anomaly. It didn't matter, though. I kept my eyes fixed on the floor, on Ryan's boots as he strode back and forth, his words crashing against me, his hands clenched to fists, white-knuckled with anger. It was worse to take this from Ryan, for though he was my superior in the ARC hierarchy if not in title, we had grown so much closer in the time since I'd transferred into this crazy project. Ryan was kind and handsome and good to his men and practically the opposite of everyone I'd worked under in the past, and despite all my attempts to resist I'd come to love him fiercely for it. Now I'd failed my team, I'd disappointed him....

"Good god, Becker, say something!"

I looked up at him in surprise, seeing as much concern as anger in his expression. I swallowed hard, fighting down the overwhelming ache of failure. Of failing him. But I couldn't justify my actions when people had been hurt. I gave a little shake of my head. "I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

Ryan gave a soft, helpless sigh, in all appearances completely lost as to how to deal with me. Was I that hopeless? "Look, just... make up for it, then."

_Make up for it._

I felt a surge of shame. How many times had that been the consequence of my failure? But I'd never expected such a demand from Ryan, not when he'd been so kind to me. Still, an order was an order. I swallowed hard, unable to bring myself to meet his gaze as I stepped forward and dropped to my knees, sliding my hands up his thighs to his belt.

Through Ryan's BDU's, I felt his cock twitch under my fingers. Then he jerked away from me, angrier than before. "Get up. That's not how we do things here. Get the hell up!"

Oh god. I felt my skin burn with embarrassment as I got to my feet, blinking hard against emotion that trembled in the pit of my stomach, swallowing down the lump in my throat. "Sorry, sir."

Ryan just shook his head, stepping back away from me, finally dropping weakly into the chair behind his desk. "Leave. Please. Now."

Shamed and broken, I turned without a word and left my lover's office.

**

"Becker?"

Ryan found me outside the infirmary a few hours later, near the end of his shift. It was well past nine and I should already be at home, but I couldn't bring myself to leave the ARC when we were three men down because of me. I turned, straightening to attention. "Sir."

The look of dismay on Ryan's face grew. "Look... come talk to me."

I nodded, following him into an empty room in the infirmary, closing the door behind me. "I'm sorry about earlier."

Ryan nodded, a little distractedly. "I'm sorry if you..." he stopped helplessly, trying to find the words. "If something made you think I would want that."

I shook my head, still not looking up. "Nothing like that, sir."

Ryan gave a soft, exasperated sigh, grabbing my wrist tightly, voice a low hiss. "Dammit, Hils...."

My name was familiar on his lips, reminding me of too many things I shouldn't be thinking about here at work with everything I'd done wrong. I let out a shivering breath. "Not at work, Tom."

"No." He pulled me closer, one hand moving to cup my face, forcing me to look up at him. "I'm sorry, okay? I was off the handle. Please don't be like this."

I yanked away from his touch, forcing myself not to show emotion. Everything that had happened today. "Not at work," I repeated, twisting away from between him and the door. "Come home with me after your shift's done, yeah?"

"Sure," he replied, terse and short, not stopping me as I left.

**

"Do you think this is just fucking around for me?"

Ryan had been quiet most of the drive home, pointedly focused in the road until now. Even as he parked he didn't turn to look at me, blue eyes hard under knit brows. The question caught me off guard. "Isn't it?"

"Is that what it is for you?" Ryan got out of the car, watching me with something that looked a little bit like anger but rather more like hurt. "Is that what today was all about?"

"It's not," I replied back softly. It never had been, even if I knew I shouldn't get attached. I couldn't help it.

"Then - " he stopped, then shook his head, glancing around. "Inside."

I let him into my flat, barely having time to take my coat off before he'd shoved me back against the door, one hand tangling in my hair as our mouths came crashing together for a desperate kiss. I gave a soft groan despite myself; Ryan had no idea how much it did it for me when he was rough with me. Though we were well matched in height he was more built than me, and when he lost control of his normally gentle nature and threw me around like this it was all I could do to keep from just going down on my knees for him. Ryan's kisses were hard and demanding, teeth scraping my tongue and biting at my lips. "This isn't just fucking," he growled against my mouth, hands pulling my shirt up and stroking hungrily up my chest as if trying to touch as much of me as possible. "This has never just been fucking for me, and I'm sorry if that's not what you signed up for, but that's who I am. I was angry with you because I almost fucking lost you, Hils."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, hands clenching at the back of his jacket, pulling him closer, closer, not close enough. "I'm an idiot, I - "

"You are not." Ryan's voice softened, smoothing a hand over my bunched-up t-shirt and running a thumb along my jaw. "You think I'd fall for an idiot? You're good at what you do. Shit happens to everyone. Sorry for being so hard on you."

It was all too fast, too much of what I'd wanted so badly from him. "Tom...."

He gave a little apologetic smile. "Moving too fast?"

"A little," I admitted, not knowing what else to say. It was easier when we were kissing, when I didn't have to think. I leaned in to nuzzle along his jaw, letting out a soft sigh as I slid my hands down over his thighs. "Make it up to me?"

Ryan chuckled softly, returning the nuzzle, nipping teasingly at my earlobe. "Yeah? And how should I do that, then?"

I tried to ignore the hot throb of my dick and keep my voice calm. "Your cock up my arse would be a good start."

"Mmmm." Ryan's tongue swiped against the side of my neck and into the hollow just below my ear, his breath hot on my skin. "You know what I like best about fucking you, Hils?"

I drew a sharp breath as he nipped at the side of my neck, hands clenching at his ass through his BDU's. "Oh?"

"Getting you all out of place from it." Ryan pulled back with a low chuckle, grabbing my belt and yanking me back towards my bedroom. "You're the poster boy for military discipline, you know. Never a hair out of order. Everything pressed and polished and perfect. Even when you're chasing bloody dinos you never lose your cool. They must have loved you at Sandhurst."

I tried not to think about Sandhurst, chuckling softly at his words instead. "I am not all that."

"Not when I'm fucking your tight little arse," he agreed, voice growing lower and more gravelly, the sound of it going straight to my cock.

I gave a low groan, pushing his jacket off his shoulders and slipping my hands up under his shirt. "Less talking, more fucking."

"Who's calling the shots here now then, hm?" Ryan pulled back suddenly, one hand clenching in the back of my hair and yanking my head back, pulling me to meet his gaze. "I thought I was the one in charge?"

I drew a sharp gasp at the yank, heartbeat pounding in my ears. "Yes, sir."

Ryan gentled immediately, releasing my hair, hands smoothing up my chest to pull my shirt over my head. "You want to play at that, Hils? Want me to order you around?"

We hadn't before, not really. In truth I was both aroused and a little terrified at the idea. "Tom...."

He misinterpreted my hesitation. "Sorry, sorry. No army role play, I guess we get enough of that at work. It's just hard for me to read you sometimes."

"Part of getting to know each other, isn't it?" I leaned in to kiss him warmly, stroking my hands down his back to cup his ass and pull him closer. "No army, just...."

Ryan's nuzzles along my jaw were distracting, arousing. "Just? Tell me what you want, handsome."

I shuddered as he gave a gentle nip to my earlobe. "Just want to be thrown around a bit. Love how passionate you are. Don't want you to hold back."

"Mmmm." Ryan's low, appreciative hum shivered down my spine, and within moments I found myself shoved back onto the bed, Ryan kneeling over me and looking down on me predatorily as he pulled off his top. He ran his hands up my chest, palms flat against my skin, then caught one of my wrists in his own, lifting it to his mouth and nuzzling the skin. "Like this?" He nipped teasingly at the inside of my wrist, fleeting and painful and hot on the sensitive skin. "Just pin you to the bed and have my way with you?"

"Please," I gasped, arching up against him, already craving more sensation. "Please, Tom...."

Ryan pulled my arms up above my head, catching both of my wrists in one strong hand and pinning them together to the bed with his weight. He leaned down to claim my lips with his own, hard and possessive, tongue pushing past my lips and into my mouth, tasting of warmth and tea and Ryan. "You're a kinky little thing, aren't you, Becker?"

He stretched out against me, giving a firm thrust of his hips against my own, his clothed erection hard against my thigh through his trousers. It sent a shudder of desire through me, and I arched back up against him, craving more. "Oh god...."

"This what you want?" he breathed, grinding harder against me, nipping at my bottom lip. "To just be held down so I can take whatever I want from you?" He reached between us with his free hand to tug at the closure of my BDUs. "Just want me to fuck you as long and hard as I like, don't you?"

I drew a sharp gasp as his fingers curled around my cock, squeezing gently, possessively. "However you want," I breathed, struggling a little against his grip on my wrists and groaning as he held tighter. "Oh god, yes."

Ryan yanked at my trousers, letting go of me to help pull them off, then pulled the black canvas belt from his own. "Get on your hands and knees."

I scrambled to do as he asked, heart pounding, shivering a little in anticipation of more. What I didn't expect was for Ryan to lean forward and loop the belt around my wrists, twisting and pulling it tight before securing it to the headboard in front of me. I could probably wiggle free if I really tried, but that wasn't the point. The idea of being restrained and at the mercy of his passion made arousal spike down my spine, and I fought not to whimper as he knelt behind me, stroking his hands down my back and over my ass. "This is mine, you hear me? All of it. So you take care of it. Promise me, Hils."

"Promise," I gasped, and though his words brought back the shame of my failing they made me feel so unexpectedly cherished at the same time. He'd grabbed the lube from my bedside table and worked two slick fingers into me now, pumping them slowly, teasing up inside me just enough to make me whimper and try and squirm back against him for more. "Tom...."

"Tell me what you promise." Ryan's voice was low and intent and unexpectedly thick with emotion. "Hils...."

"I promise I'm yours," I gasped, whimpering as his fingers brushed up against my prostate, making me shudder. "Promise to take care of myself."

"Good boy." Ryan leaned over to nuzzle up my spine, nipping lightly at the crook of my neck as he pushed a third finger inside me, fucking and stretching me. "Far too pretty for this line of work, you know. If it were up to me you'd be naked and oiled and chained to the bed all the time."

I cried out as he worked a fourth finger into me, almost painfully tight, and I tried to relax and take it, gasping for breath, my thighs trembling. "Tom - !"

"God, you're beautiful." Ryan pulled his fingers away without warning, leaving me feeling aching and empty. I heard the crinkle of a foil package, and after a moment the blunt head of his cock brushed against my ass, just teasing. "Gorgeous, Hils. Hot little arse stretched open and waiting for me. This what you wanted? Tell me."

"Oh god, Tom...." I tried to push back against his cock, breathless and craving sensation, the webbing of the belt digging into my hands as I pulled against it. "God, don't tease me. Fuck my arse, please, god...."

My reply came in Ryan's hand pressed between my shoulder blades, pushing me down onto the bed to lean on my forearms. His fingers clenched at my hip to hold me in place as he slid into me with one hard thrust, sensation spiking up my spine in a mix of pleasure and ache as my body tried to adjust to the intrusion. I cried out at the rush, arching back against him as much as I could, feeling every inch of hard his cock press into me slowly. "Still so damn tight," he growled, pushing deeper with a hard thrust. "Perfect little arse. Fuck, Hils...."

"Yes," I gasped, trying to buck back against him, crying out as he gave another hard thrust. "Harder. Oh fuck, Tom, your cock... god, fuck me."

"Dirty boy," he hissed, but gave in to my request, setting a pace that was almost punishing. He moved one hand from my hip to clench in my hair, pulling my head back as he thrust deeper. The shiver of pain only made it more intense, my whole body arched taut and trembling as each thrust of his cock drove a hot shock of pleasure up my spine, my cock hard and aching against my stomach.

"Tom," I gasped, trying to buck back against him, whimpering as his hand tightened in my hair. I couldn't think about anything but this, his body against mine, his breathless groans of pleasure, the feel of his cock inside me, pushing me quickly close to the edge.

"Come on, beautiful," he growled, letting go of my hair to curl his fingers around my cock, stroking the slick of my arousal down my shaft. "Show me how you wanted this. Come on, sweetheart."

How could I resist any part of him?

I let go of the last bit of my control, fucking myself back onto his cock as much as I could as sensation shuddered through me. I bit my lip on a throaty yell, orgasm bright and hot and overwhelming as I came in his fingers.

"God yes." Ryan's groan was almost triumphant as he fucked me through my climax, hard and unforgiving until he came in a flood of heat inside me. I closed my eyes, trying not to thing about anything but the moment, the warmth and security of having Ryan over top of me and deep inside me, kissing along my shoulder and up the back of my neck as he caught his breath. "So fucking beautiful, Hils."

I managed a soft, breathless laugh, arching back into him. "Naked and debauched?"

"Exactly."

I let him fuss over me, curling up with him quietly, warm and relaxed under my comforter. For a time we just stayed like that, Ryan's face nestled against my hair, and I thought he'd fallen asleep when he pulled back to look at me.

"It's been five years since I've been with someone," Ryan said quietly, breaking the silence. "Since I've let anyone be more than a one night stand. I was engaged. He was killed in action. I promised myself I'd never go through that again." He shifted back to look at me, stroking his fingers through my tousled hair, mouth curving up into a sad little smile. "Then I met you."

I should have felt flattered by the revelation, flattered to be the man to make him give love another chance. Instead I just felt spectacularly unworthy. I reached a hand up to stroke over his hair. "I'm sorry."

Ryan shook his head. "Don't be. I've worked through it. Tried my best not to smother you, even I spend half the time you're in the field biting my nails with worry. I'll learn to deal with it soon enough." He cuddled close to me again, arms wrapped around me possessively, nestling his face against my neck. "Just have to put up with me making sure that you're real every night."

"Certainly won't complain about that." I pressed my lips to his hair, relieved when I felt his breath deepen soon after. Unfortunately sleep didn't prove so easy for me to find.

~~~


	2. Chapter 2

I slept restless, and after waking for what seemed like the hundredth time I finally crawled out of bed to keep from waking Ryan. I stood in the doorway of my bedroom for a moment and watched him, gorgeous and relaxed and carefree in sleep. Even though I'd known him for months, even though we'd been sleeping together for months, I still felt my heart clench when I looked at him in a strange mix of wonder at how beautiful he was, how amazing it was that he would care for me and anxiety that I was somehow going to screw this up.

I sighed, pulled on my housecoat, and padded into the kitchen to put the kettle on in the hopes that some chamomile tea would calm me enough to help me find sleep. It was reassuring to just focus on the menial task of making tea, puttering around the kitchen for a cup and sugar, filling the tea ball with loose leaf chamomile and catching the kettle just before it started to whistle. I'd just filled the teapot with the steaming water when I heard Ryan's voice behind me.

"Have enough for two?"

"Of course." I gave him an apologetic smile and tried not to get distracted by how gloriously naked he was. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you...."

Ryan smiled and shrugged, moving to stand behind me and slip his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. "I get cold when you're not there."

I smiled despite myself, leaning back into the comfort of his embrace. "You'll get cold running around naked, too. Not that I'm complaining."

"Mmm. Suppose you'll just have to warm me up, then." Ryan pressed a warm kiss just under my ear, tightening his arms around me. "Want to talk about what's bothering you?"

I was quiet for a long moment, but covered one of his hands with mine, twining our fingers together and giving a squeeze. "I don't want to burden you with my dirty laundry."

Ryan gave a soft sigh, still nuzzling my skin. It was hard not to just melt in the warmth of his embrace, in how safe he made me feel. "I don't consider it a burden. I just... wish I could do something to help."

"You help me just by being here, Tom," I replied, voice coming out more rough than I intended, and Ryan gave me another squeeze.

"Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong, then? This afternoon...."

I forced myself to pull away, turning to face him. "Tom, listen to me. It's me, not you. You did nothing wrong. I'm just - I'm just fucked up."

"It certainly feels like it's me."

"It's not you," I repeated from between clenched teeth. "It's not about what happened in your office, so please stop making this about you and let me just get over it on my own."

"Then why did my office make you like this?"

I glanced away, knowing he wouldn't accept me brushing him off. He deserved a real explanation for my behavior. "If I tell you... you'll hate me."

"I won't."

I gave a soft, helpless laugh. "Won't you? I hate me. It's disgusting. I...."

"Hils." Ryan stepped into me again, sliding one arm around my waist, warm and strong and secure. "I won't. I promise."

I leaned into him and closed my eyes helplessly, trying to find the words to admit what I'd never told anyone. "I had a teacher at Sandhurst," I started slowly, softly, keeping my gaze focused on the wall, trying to stay detached, unemotional. "He was a friend of my father's. I knew him growing up, I idolized him, he was... the perfect soldier. My ticket to success, my father said. He told me to do whatever this man wanted, whatever - " my voice cracked embarrassingly, and I swallowed hard to rid my voice of the emotion. "Anything he wanted. I didn't want it, I didn't do it to advance my standing, but I didn't - I couldn't...."

"Hils...?" Ryan's voice was soft, comforting.

I gave a short shake of my head. "Any time I displeased him he threatened to tell my father if I didn't make up for it. I suppose it's why I was top of my class."

I couldn't look at Ryan, couldn't bear to see judgment in his expression. The sympathy I could hear in his voice.

"Did you love him?"

A short, hard laugh escaped my lips, and I let it, because the alternative was so much worse. "When I was a boy, yes. As much as you love someone who represents everything you ever wanted. When I found out who he really was, no. Can you love someone who won't even kiss you? I hated him. But I needed his approval, needed my father's approval. So I was his whore."

I expected Ryan to push me away, not to pull me closer. His arms were almost achingly tight around me, face pressed to my hair and his voice was a low growl. "Who is he? Is he still alive? I'll fucking kill him."

His anger and protectiveness shocked me, and it was a moment before I could reply. "Tom, you can't - "

"Then I'll make sure he never has fucking sex again. Fucking rapist bastard - "

"Rapist?" The strength of his words shocked me. "Tom, I - I agreed to it - "

"Because he threatened to take your whole life from you if you didn't?" Ryan drew back just enough to look at me, strong hands cupping my face, and forcing me to meet his gaze, intense and determined and a little wild. "Hils. Listen to me. No one has the right to abuse their power over someone else. No one has the right to coerce another person into sexual relations for any reason. He was a fucking douchebag. It wasn't your fault."

The passion of his words was too much too fast, and I closed my eyes against it. "Should have said no...."

"Maybe, and maybe he would have done worse if you did. Still doesn't make it your fault." Ryan's voice softened as he leaned in to press a gentle kiss to my forehead. "Hils, you're so beautiful to me. Nothing's going to change that. You're beautiful and noble and smart and never, ever anyone's whore. You believe me?"

I swallowed hard against the emotion his words wrought in me, trying to keep from shaking. "I - I don't know if I can....

"No? Can you at least try?" Ryan's fingers stroked over my cheekbone and through my hair, warm and gentle. "When have I ever lied to you, Hils? Not going to start now. Love you too much for that."

I shuddered at his touch, at his words, pressing closer to bury my face in his shoulder. "Tom..."

Ryan's fingers continued a gentle caress through my hair. "It's all right. You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to say it. I just needed you to know."

"I do love you," I managed to reply, voice breaking on the words. "I just feel completely, spectacularly unworthy, Tom...."

"You're not. Oh god, lover, you're not. I'll show you every day, however I can - "

I cut him off with a kiss, pressing my lips to his as my hands gripped his bare sides, trembling. "Just be here. You love so completely and intensely and without guile, and I - I need that, I - "

"Shh..." Ryan returned my kisses warmly, pressing me back against the counter as he leaned into me, stroking arms around my waist. "Not gonna leave you, gorgeous boy."

I gave a soft, relieved moan against his mouth, letting myself get lost in the warmth of his embrace and the kisses that quickly grew more passionate. I could tell Ryan was holding back, but I needed him to take control, to push everything from my mind but thoughts of him. I tugged my robe undone, pulling him closer, groaning at the feel of his bare skin against my own. "Oh god, Tom...."

"Sure you want this?" he murmured, hands sliding down my sides and cupping my ass, pulling me closer to him. I gave a low groan, rocking up against his quickly hardening erection, my own cock twitching against him with arousal.

"Need you," I breathed back, grinding up against him, shivers of pleasure shuddering up my spine. I reached down to curl my fingers around his cock, stroking him just how I knew he liked it. "Need this, need you inside me...."

"Nothing I love more than fucking you," he replied, breath hot against my jaw, nipping at my earlobe as his fingers teased between my ass cheeks and over my hole, rubbing against me. "Still slick from earlier, aren't you? My sexy love. You want it right here? Want me to just push you over the counter and fuck you just like this?"

"Please," I gasped, feeling almost mindlessly aroused by his words. Ryan yanked my robe off my shoulders, throwing it across the counter and manhandling me until I was pushed down against it, the terrycloth warm between my cheek and the cold counter underneath. Ryan moved the still hot teapot safely out of the way before leaning down to trail kisses up the length of my spine, nipping at the nape of my neck as he urged my legs apart.

"God you're beautiful," he murmured, letting the hard length of his cock press between my ass cheeks, rubbing against me slowly. "Gorgeous little arse. Make me so hard for you, Hils...."

"Fuck me," I gasped, grinding up against him as much as I could. "Supplies in the small drawer."

"Oh really?" Ryan chuckled softly, pulling away just long enough to open the drawer in question. "My, but you are a good little boy scout. Should have told me you wanted me to fuck you in your kitchen."

"Takes away the spontaneity," I replied, groaning as two slick fingers slid inside me, fucking me slowly with them. "Oh god, Tom. Feel so good...."

"Spontaneity?" He leaned over to mouth warm kisses up my neck, twisting his fingers inside me to brush up against my prostate. "So I should just fuck you whenever, wherever I want? Pull you down onto my cock at the breakfast table?"

"Best breakfast ever," I gasped, trying to squirm back onto his fingers. "I'm good for it. Fuck me. Oh god, please...."

Ryan didn't make me wait, holding me in place with one hand between my shoulder blades, pushing me down against the hard marble surface of the counter top as he pulled on a condom. He eased into me with a series of slow thrusts, my body still slick and welcoming from earlier lovemaking, and I groaned at the shift of his cock inside me, hard and thick and hot. I braced myself with one hand curled around the edge of the counter, reaching back to grab at his ass, pulling him closer. "Oh god, yes. Love your cock inside me...."

"Just made to fuck you," Ryan murmured in my ear, starting a pace that was slow and deep, brushing up against my prostate as he did. All I could do was hold on and breathe, soft whimpers of pleasure pulled from my mouth with each thrust. Ryan's mouth was warm on my skin, kissing wetly along my shoulder and up the side of my neck, his voice a warm caress. "So blessed to have you, Hils. Gorgeous, strong, smart.... perfect little arse...."

I laughed breathlessly to cover the way his words made my heart clench, pushing back against his cock. "Mmm, silver tongue and amazing in bed. I think - " my breath caught as Ryan's next thrust left me seeing stars, my cock hard and aching against my stomach. "Fuck, Tom - more, please - !"

Ryan met my request wordlessly, bucking up into me with hard, unrelenting thrusts that jarred my body and sent molten shocks of pleasure up my spine. All I could do was hold on, completely lost to the warmth of his embrace, the pleasure of our union. I knew I couldn't usually come just from being fucked like this, but it felt so good that I didn't want it to stop.

I could feel Ryan's hips stuttering, his breath in desperate gasps against the back of my neck. "Hils - love - "

"Come in me," I gasped, rocking back against him as much as I could, body singing with pleasure. "Need to feel you. Don't worry about me. Come on, lover."

"God - !" Ryan's cry caught in his throat, thick with pleasure as he bucked up into me and came, cock pulsing inside me as he thrust shallowly through his climax. "Oh god. Oh god, Hils...."

"That's it," I breathed, rocking with him, closing my eyes for a moment to just enjoy the warm rush of satisfaction that came from bringing him to climax. Ryan dropped soft, breathless kisses along my shoulder and up my neck, catching the corner of my mouth to kiss me, warm and possessive.

"Stay right here," he murmured, kissing me again before easing away, dropping the used condom in the trash. Then I felt his lips pressed to my spine, hands stroking over my sides and hips as he kissed down my back. Ryan sank to his knees as he lavished attention to my ass cheeks, hands stroking and clenching them as he kissed and licked one and then the other, finally drawing his tongue between them and over my sensitive asshole.

"Oh fuck, Tom...."

"Such a beautiful arse," he murmured in reply, breath hot against my skin, then continued his ministrations, his tongue hot and wet as it pressed inside me, fucking me in slow thrusts. I gave a whimper that would have been embarrassingly plaintive in any other situation, torn between pressing back against his mouth or into the fingers that wrapped around my aching cock, stroking me slowly. It was amazing and torturous all at once; so very, very good but not nearly enough, and yet I couldn't bring myself to stop, thighs trembling and hands clenched painfully tight at the counter, body lost to the sensations he wrought in me.

"Turn around," Ryan growled finally, pulling back and tugging on my hips to urge me to do as he said. "Want you to come in my mouth."

I let my fingers clench at his shoulders, feeling a little lightheaded from being pushed over the counter for so long, but any thought of that was quickly eclipsed from my mind by Ryan's mouth, hot and wet and eager, sucking down the length of my cock in one go. He rocked two fingers up inside me as he did, pumping slowly, teasing against my prostate just so, and in moments I was coming like a freight train. I pressed one fist to my mouth to muffle the cry as I came down his throat, pleasure completely overwhelming.

"Gorgeous," Ryan murmured softly, placing a kiss to the head of my cock and covering it with slow licks as if to catch every drop of my come. I gave a soft laugh, forcing my fingers to unclench from his shoulder, stroking over his hair.

"You're amazing," I managed to breathe, every inch of me warm and content and singing with well-being in the aftermath of sex. Ryan smiled, placing a kiss low on my hip before standing, pulling me close and nuzzling my jaw.

"Think you can sleep now, or should we re-heat that tea?"

I laughed, cuddling close to him, loving the strength of his arms around me. "I think I'll be just fine without the tea."

Curled back in my bed with him I did feel much more relaxed, warm and calm and reassured, like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I returned his soft kisses with a little approving hum, enjoying the feel of his bare skin against mine, our bodies curled close, legs tangled together. "Thank you... I think that was just what I needed."

"To be fucked over your kitchen counter?" Ryan returned playfully, and I couldn't help but laugh, nipping at his bottom lip playfully.

"Yes. And everything else. Tom... really, thank you."

"Thank you for trusting me," he returned softly, stroking his fingers through my hair with a little smile.

"I do love you," I murmured, nestling my face into his shoulder and closing my eyes, reveling in the feeling of warmth and security.

"Love you, Hils," came Ryan's sleepy reply as he pressed a kiss to my hair. "This mean I can call you my boyfriend now?"

I laughed softly, stroking his back. "Can call me whatever you like, love."

"Mmm. I think I like that one best," Ryan replied, kissing my hair again. "Love."

~~~fin!~~~


End file.
